How to Make Fried Rice: The Strategy Guide/Walkthrough (Bonus recipe included!)

Recipe for this Ketchup-Spam Fried Rice at the end of the post.

In college, making your own fried rice is at times a revelation (at least over junky cafeteria food). Not very fancy, relatively easy, and so damn good if you do it right, which you can, even with the junkiest of stove top burners.

What I love about fried rice is the flexibility of ingredients. The most basic fried rice can be put together with a little oil, rice, egg, and salt/or soy sauce. Technically you could omit the salt/or soy sauce and egg, but you can imagine what it'd taste like: nothing. You can build upon your fried rice with various meats, vegetables, aromatics, spices, sauces, etc. which I'll talk about further in the post.

Disclaimer: This post is so long and thorough it basically is a strategy guide to making fried rice. I hope by reading this you can defeat the last boss... or make your own really good fried rice. I am detailing everything I know about cooking fried rice so that you can make an awesome fried rice with the proper textures and flavors. Feel free to skim around, skip parts, or just close this window entirely if you feel daunted by the length of this post.

Preparation: I put in a lot of additional details in this part so that you can use it as a guide if you have never made fried rice before and/or want to improve on your fried rice making skills (which can help you attract SO's, so read on).

Here's a quick summary of preparation.

• Take out rice, remove clumps.
• Chop aromatics, set aside.
• Get 'main ingredients' ready.
• Beat a few eggs.

Here come the insane amount of details, don't read this part if you already have already collected all the secret weapons to making fried rice. 

• Take leftover rice out of fridge, and break any clumps into individual grains. I won't allow you to proceed until you separate every single grain of rice. Not. But imagine if I were some crazy sensei that made you do that, bahahah. Anyway, just get rid of any big clumps of rice or else the rice within those clumps won't get fried and tasty. If you don't have leftover rice, proceed to the next bullet (I'm warning you there is a lot of nagging about fresh rice). If you do have leftover rice, good job! Pat yourself on the back, you are well on your way to delicious fried rice. Not really. But you get to skip the next bullet.
• If you don't have leftover rice (if you do, stop reading this, come back next time for when you don't, nosy ass) fresh rice works fine but I find that it's better to work with HOT fresh rice than warm fresh rice. Before you cook your rice, make sure you rinse the rice at least 4-5 times, preferably until the water is somewhat clear. It helps to keep the rice from becoming one big blob that tastes like one big blob. Also important is not to add to much water to cook your rice in. Immediately after the rice is cooked, fluff it with something (scoop the rice around the pot and let steam come out) and cover your rice cooker for about another ~10 minutes to let the rice dry a little. But keep it on the warm setting! See how annoying fresh rice is? Just make yourself extra rice the night before, sheesh.
• Get some aromatics, chop. I'm talking onions, green onions, garlic, mushrooms, whatever the hell you want.  (And chop it into something you'd eat... garlic and ginger are usually minced, or chopped into tiny pieces, so you don't bite into something unpleasant, onions are usually diced, or chopped into little squares, so you can taste their sweetness without biting into a huge piece of onion... you get the idea) Fried rice is really easy cooking... granted you do the prep first. 
• If you're using meat or some other ingredient to be featured in your fried rice (like say for example you name your fried rice "______ fried rice"), cut it the way you'd like to serve it, marinade it separately if you want to, whatever, just take it out and have it ready. You'll need to cook this item right before you start on your fried rice unless it is precooked (like spam). If you need suggestions with this step, feel free to ask me through email or leave a comment.
• Crack a few eggs into a cup, bowl, or just something that the eggs can be beat in. Add a little salt and water if you'd like (it adds volume I suppose). Beat with a fork to mix egg, salt, and water until it becomes a uniform blob. I like fried rice with lots of egg, so I crack 1-2 more eggs than people I'll be feeding. OPTIONAL: If you don't have a large pan to fry your rice in, cook the eggs first and set aside. 
• To cook eggs for fried rice: Add a little oil to a pan/wok (preferably nonstick which usually has a black surface), heat on medium heat, add eggs, stir, and scrape bottoms every once in a while so egg doesn't brown. Cook for a few minutes just until there isn't anymore runny egg. (A little bit is fine, it'll firm up when you put it aside).

Woo! You're done with the prep!

Cooking: I follow a cooking order when making fried rice, so the textures and flavors turn out right. You don't want soggy rice, or overly salty meat, so these steps will try to depict a well constructed fried rice.  Please note that I don't claim to be any fried rice master or sensei of any sort, so please give me any suggestions that you may have, as I am constantly learning as well.

Quick overview of cooking fried rice:

• Heat wok/pan with oil until hot.
• Fry aromatics for a few seconds to few minutes depending on what you're using.
• Mix in rice, add salt/pepper if not using a salty sauce to flavor the rice. Stir fry for a few minutes till rice is hot.
• Add in main ingredient at this point, stir ~1-2 min till warm.
• Add in eggs, incorporate (but not overly so).
• Add liquid sauce if using any, incorporate. 
• Finish with any herbs/garnishes.
• Eat.

More insane amount of details, don't read this part if you already have already collected all the secret weapons to making fried rice. 

• Heat a large wok or pan over high heat for a minute or so, add some oil to coat the pan, and heat for another minute or until hot. It is essential for the wok/pan to be super hot in order for your rice to get the right texture and flavor.
• For those of you who don't know how hot to heat the oil, don't worry, I didn't either. The best way to check is to put your hand a few inches over the oil. If its just warm, you'll know. If it's really hot, your hand will probably want to move away and then you'll know it's ready. It's okay for the oil to have a few wisps of smoke coming out, but you'll want to start cooking right away (or lower the heat). If you left the oil and you come back to it smoking like crazy, you'll probably want to get rid of it as it'll ruin the taste of your food. 
• Note: If you only have a pot, try to borrow someone's wok/pan. Minimally, you want to make fried rice with something that has slanted edges \___/=== rather than straight edges |__|== because the rice will steam rather than fry in a straight-edged pan/pot and your rice will get soggy. You could opt for porridge?
• Dump in all your aromatics and veggies (garlic, onions, shallots, mushrooms, WHITE-parts only of green onions, ginger, corn, whatever. Note that herbs don't qualify here, and by that i mean the green part of green onions, cilantro, etc.) and fry for a few seconds to a few minutes. If you're only putting in garlic and/or ginger at this step, dump in the rice ~5 seconds after it goes in or else the it will burn and turn bitter. Otherwise, add a pinch of salt and pepper, and cook for 2-4 minutes, flipping/stirring constantly for aromatics to get aromatic. Clever huh!
• Add rice and mix it in with your aromatics/veggies by flipping/stirring. If you don't plan on using a salty sauce (like soy sauce) to flavor your fried rice, add salt and pepper (optional) to taste. If you do plan on using such a sauce, skip to the next bullet. If you don't know what salt to taste means, just add a little salt/pepper at a time, incorporate it with all the rice, and taste the rice. Keep adding salt/pepper until your desired taste. If you've gone too far and over-salted your fried rice, see how it tastes after you add in eggs and the main ingredient. If it's still too salty, the only thing to do is to add more rice (you probably don't have anymore at your disposal at this point), or add some sugar, to taste (ironic huh?). Constantly stir/flip the rice for a few minutes until it is hot all over, which you should know if you've been tasting the rice. There should be no more cold rice.
• Incorporate main ingredient. Keep flipping/stirring to warm this item up, 1-2 minutes. 
• If you cooked your egg ahead of time, add it to the party and break it apart and stir around (but not too much if you want egg chunks to eat!)
• If you didn't cook your egg ahead of time, push aside all your fried rice in the pan and pour the eggs into the emptied area. Try not to let the eggs come into contact with the rice or else it can make your rice soggy. Flip the eggs a few times so the bottom doesn't burn. If you like fluffy eggs, stir it constantly, like you're making scrambled eggs. As soon as the egg solidifies, mix it in with the rest of your rice. 
• At this point, add any liquid sauces to your fried rice. The reason why you add it in at the end is so that the rice doesn't get soggy in the beginning. Incorporate until your fried rice looks even throughout.
• Add any herbs/garnishes (green onions, cilantro), mix for 10-15 seconds, turn off heat.
• Serve while super hot and enjoy. 

Geez, that was probably the longest post on fried rice ever. But if you've never done it before, I've basically included all the details for you to make a killer fried rice. (Okay... you're probably still missing a giant stove that only restaurants have, but given the conditions you are working with, it's still really good.) And don't be afraid to experiment with any number of combos. As I said earlier, the most basic fried rice consists of rice, egg, salt or soy sauce, and oil (to fry). Following my DETAILED steps above, you can add in basically anything you wish, as long as you categorize your items according to my instructions and follow the proper cooking order. 

And remember that picture in the beginning of the post? Probably not, since it took you a good day or so to read this entire post. Well, here's my recipe if you still happen to be reading... 

Ketchup-Spam Fried Rice

Ingredients

• Rice, preferably leftover
• Spam (about a good 2"x2"x2" cube per person) cut into squares
• 1-2 more eggs than number of people you are serving
• Half an onion, diced (or whole, if you really like onions, which I do)
• A handful of corn (canned or frozen works fine), drained. More is fine, if you like corn, which I do as well
• 2-3 cloves garlic, minced. More is fine.... you get the idea
• 1-2 green onion stalks, chopped horizontally as thick/thin as you want. More "..."
• Ketchup
• Canola/Peanut/Grapeseed/Corn Oil, basically any vegetable oil to coat pan. Try to avoid olive oil if possible.
• Salt and Pepper

To Cook

Follow the above steps, and at the end, add ketchup to taste and stir in chopped green onions. Note: You do need to use salt in this recipe because Ketchup doesn't qualify as a 'salty sauce', so proceed to salt to taste as you would for regular fried rice. 

My mom used to make this fried rice for me at home, and I loved it, so I adapted her recipe. It's basically the same as hers, but I added the garlic and onion to perk up the flavors. Again, note that most of the ingredients in this fried rice are interchangeable, and just don't add it if you don't want it. I do have to say though, with the spam, corn and/or onion are essential to balance out the saltiness of the spam. This is my go to fried rice in college since I can buy almost all these ingredients at the on campus markets (not to mention that I can use meal-points to make this entire meal). You may think that spam, ketchup, and corn all in the same fried rice together may sound weird, but it really tastes delicious and is rather easy and economical to do.

Now that you've read through this strategy guide, I hope you'll collect every delicious weapon, upgrade, secret, whatever you need on your journey to defeating the last fried rice boss. Seriously though, this is basically a strategy guide for fried rice. If you didn't need it, you shouldn't have read it. Not like you didn't use one for Zelda or Final Fantasy though...

Please leave me any comments, questions, suggestions, via comment box or email. Thanks!

Hope you like it, now onto some crappy homework.